Som den ansvariga och uppmärksamma samhällsmedborgare jag är så ser jag och erkänner det mycket reella hotet från de odöda, problemet vi står inför idag är hur vi ska identifiera dessa dissidenter, som tur är hittade jag den här praktiska checklistan, skriven av en äkta vampyr.
Kryssar du i mer än 85%(mer än 32 kryss) av punkterna så är du en vampyr och bör kontakta berörd myndighet för destruktion. Orkar och vill inte översätta den så ni får stå ut med engelska.
[ ] Do you have unusually pale skin? You don't have to be white to be pale. If yes then cook up one or two (depending on the size) medium rare steaks (the best way to do this) If, by the time you’re done enjoying the second one, you have a new pinkish color throughout your body that you haven’t had in a while, read no farther; you are a real vampire. Humans can’t digest blood let alone get color from it, real vampires do.
NOTE: The extra work involved in trying to eat medium rare or rare meat can cause a temporary pink color to the skin which is otherwise known as being flushed. Temporarily being flushed is not the color that is being referred to when a vampire gets color from the blood in the steak. It takes a lot less human blood than animal blood to get the same effect but animal blood is way easier to get.) If you were white before and still are you should see a doctor. Odds are you aren't a real vampire, you’re just malnourished, and they can help.
[ ] Have you ever been told by professionals that you’re lucky you survived an accident with only a few scratches or cuts?
[ ] Are you a naturally strong magic/energy user self-taught or self-realized?
[ ] As a kid, were you the strongest, smartest, or quickest kid in the class, and at around 16 years of age maybe all 3?
[ ] Did your dad disappear from your life while you were at a young age? (NOTE: 52% of vampires out of a large range of vampires have answered yes to this question. This includes people who believe they are real vampires however may not really be one.)
[ ] Do people often tell you that you look very young for your age, or that they would have never guessed how old you are?
[ ] Are you extremely energetic at night but around the time the sun comes up become extremely tired?
[ ] Are you a slightly quicker healer than most, if not a much quicker healer?
[ ] Do you have an unusually high tolerance to alcohol and other poisons/toxins?
[ ] Do you tend to switch between very social and antisocial frequently?
[ ] Do you rarely get sick, or when you get sick does your body recovers quicker than most people
[ ] Are your six senses more enhanced than most other peoples, i.e. vision, hearing, touch, smell, taste, and intuition?
[ ] Do you have extremely good vision in the dark? How many times has some one said it’s too dark they can’t see while you were doing something like reading?
[ ] Do you tend to NOT be surprised or scared by the typical sudden loud noise in a movie or things like that because you sensed it coming?
[ ] Do you tend to react to things like catching a falling object or other normally unexpected things at an almost psychic speed? (As if you were expecting it to happen)?
[ ] Do you tend to get a high from human blood? When drinking someone’s blood do you tend to find yourself being able to do something that they could do (that you couldn't do) about 2 weeks after drinking it?
[ ] Are you sensitive to light or the heat from it? (Ranging from getting a bad headache from the glare to burning very easily.)
[ ] If, while your skin is white from lack of enough blood in you, do you bleed quite noticeably less than a person normally should, or more likely not bleed at all?
[ ] Are your nails clear like glass, yet very strong?
[ ] Is your bedroom the coldest and darkest room in the house?
[ ] According to multiple news articles easily found online, older adults can’t hear this sound. So far I haven't found someone over 36 who is a non-vamp that can. click to try to hear it. Warning: if you can hear it, it will be loud.
[ ] A legitimate Vampire is able to safely digest more than 600% of the daily recommended amount of iron (RDA is 18mg. 600% of RDA is 108mg) when in the form of blood.
(ALWAYS READ THE WARNINGS ON THIS SITE!)
[ ] How often do you look at the person that almost bumped (or bumped) into you and think "you idiot” or “people are so stupid" because they didn't know you were only a couple feet away from them, because you always know when someone is that close to you? (Which, when you think about it, you only know because you can sense when someone is that close to you).
[ ] Do you always feel a strong urge to travel?
[ ] How often does something smell so strong that you can literally taste it, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing? (NOTE: When most people say it smells so strong that they can taste it they only say it as a figure of speech. And the people that agree with you when you say it rarely can taste it. Think I'm wrong? Ask them yourself!)
[ ] Can you hear a whisper from across a room?
[ ] Is there a dark colored ring around the iris (color part) of your eyes? All real vampires have this, however not everyone that has it is a real vampire.
[ ] Is there a noticeably different color surrounding the pupil? (Inner part of the color of your eyes.)
[ ] Do the words "come on outside, it's a nice bright sunny day, and there’s a lot of people out," seem more like a bad thing than a good thing to you, as opposed to the guy who said it to you, saying it with a big happy smile?
[ ] Regardless of how normal you may consider yourself to be, do you tend to meet a lot of weird people that you quite often hit it off with relatively frequently? (Keep in mind, normal is just a politically correct term for people that have no creativity. And definitely is NOT something to be proud of calling yourself).
[ ] Do you have a predator instinct that is so strong that it makes most people seem to act more like herbivores than the omnivores they consider themselves to be?
[ ] Does sunlight/bright light in general hurt your eyes and head, in most cases to the point of a migraine? (But you can still go out in it). See point 17.
[ ] Do electrical appliances generally tend to hate you? (Watches mess up often, computers malfunction for no reason, etc).
[ ] Are your dreams often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of déjàvu?
[ ] Do people often find you very empathetic to how they feel?
[ ] Do people usually either trust you completely or not trust you at all?
[ ] When you will things to happen do they usually happen?
[ ] Does your mood have an obvious effect on the mood of others around you? Only count this if it happens to the people that can’t see you. (Especially on babies and animals like cats).
[ ] Were you born with a number of health problems, including heart problems that quickly went away on their own?
Lycka till och gud bevare er!
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Are you extremely energetic at night but around the time the sun comes up become extremely tired?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do you have an unusually high tolerance to alcohol and other poisons/toxins?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do you tend to switch between very social and antisocial frequently?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Are you sensitive to light or the heat from it? (Ranging from getting a bad headache from the glare to burning very easily.)
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Is there a dark colored ring around the iris (color part) of your eyes? All real vampires have this, however not everyone that has it is a real vampire.
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do the words "come on outside, it's a nice bright sunny day, and there’s a lot of people out," seem more like a bad thing than a good thing to you, as opposed to the guy who said it to you, saying it with a big happy smile?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do electrical appliances generally tend to hate you? (Watches mess up often, computers malfunction for no reason, etc).
kanske dessa. tror inte jag är vampyr. attans.
süpplü:
kanske dessa. tror inte jag är vampyr. attans.
Du är vad som på fackspråk kallas "lite lätt goth"
Luther Blissett:
Du är vad som på fackspråk kallas "lite lätt goth"
haha fan vad lamt. ska skärpa mig. vet inte i vilken riktning dock.
süpplü:
haha fan vad lamt. ska skärpa mig. vet inte i vilken riktning dock.
Vore festligt att se dig som en energetisk optimist
Luther Blissett:
Vore festligt att se dig som en energetisk optimist
ska ha detta i åtanke
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do you tend to switch between very social and antisocial frequently?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do you have extremely good vision in the dark? How many times has some one said it’s too dark they can’t see while you were doing something like reading?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do you tend to react to things like catching a falling object or other normally unexpected things at an almost psychic speed? (As if you were expecting it to happen)?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] According to multiple news articles easily found online, older adults can’t hear this sound. So far I haven't found someone over 36 who is a non-vamp that can. click to try to hear it. Warning: if you can hear it, it will be loud.
Luther Blissett:
[ ] How often does something smell so strong that you can literally taste it, whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing? (NOTE: When most people say it smells so strong that they can taste it they only say it as a figure of speech. And the people that agree with you when you say it rarely can taste it. Think I'm wrong? Ask them yourself!)
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Can you hear a whisper from across a room?
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Is there a dark colored ring around the iris (color part) of your eyes? All real vampires have this, however not everyone that has it is a real vampire.
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Is there a noticeably different color surrounding the pupil? (Inner part of the color of your eyes.)
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Do electrical appliances generally tend to hate you? (Watches mess up often, computers malfunction for no reason, etc).
Luther Blissett:
[ ] Are your dreams often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of déjàvu?
har dom här sakerna
kanske två eller tre till
så jag är ingen vampuyr ![[blush]](/img/smilies/blush.gif)
haha sjukt om man skulle vara det och inte insett det innan man gjort ett internettest
Fingerprints:
haha sjukt om man skulle vara det och inte insett det innan man gjort ett internettest
Man kanske aldrig tänkt på obetydliga saker som "gillar du att dricka människoblod?"
uh denna tråd får mig att tänka på när en kompis berättade att hon fått oralsex i slutet av mensen och personen blivit helt galen av kåthet av smaken. under denna händelse hade hon min favorittröja på sig. jag kunde aldrig se den tröjan på samma sätt igen.
isola:
uh denna tråd får mig att tänka på när en kompis berättade att hon fått oralsex i slutet av mensen och personen blivit helt galen av kåthet av smaken.
![[censur]](/img/smilies/censur.gif)
isola:
under denna händelse hade hon min favorittröja på sig. jag kunde aldrig se den tröjan på samma sätt igen.
![[bigsmile]](/img/smilies/bigsmile.gif)
![[cry]](/img/smilies/cry.gif)
ofta hon berättade d???
Blivande_japan:
ofta hon berättade d???
Tror att hon sade något i stil med att det kändes lite som om jag var närvarande under den roliga stunden pga det också.
jag är en vampyr
jag glittrar och gnyr
The cat conspiracy
Since as far as we know the beginning of man, aliens have been using cats to try to stop us from progressing to the reasonably advanced race that human beings have become. They do this because they aren't allowed to directly kill us, however they don't want us to catch up to them or even become as advanced as their race.
The aliens originally took the approach of placing large cats like tigers, lions, jaguars, etc. Here to kill off our ancestors to cut us down before we even had a chance to start. This back fired on them, though it did kill off a lot of them that had intelligence however not the muscle needed to actually use the weapons that they were trying to invent. They did not kill all of them and we managed to push forward.
Then the aliens left for a fairly long time however thinking that the original large cats would wipe all of us out, and just left us for dead. Later while checking in on us they noticed that a large tower was being built and saw that we were advancing quicker than they were comfortable with, so they destroyed that building made us speak different languages and sent us all in different directions. Once again they through a monkey wrench in to our species development but this time they blamed it on "God".
When the aliens sent us to each of these different areas they stripped us of our tools. Problem is they forgot to wipe our memories of how to make those tools and start over again. This language change and being divided set us back a good deal however it did not make recovery impossible and the separate civilizations were able to get back to where they were technology wise at different speeds.Those poor primitive tribes of today have barely fully recovered. However this time they visited a few times to check on us and saw that we recovered a little yet were still struggling, not to mention realizing that the language barrier that they created was working better than they ever imagined. Satisfied with their work their visits became increasingly far apart as their confidence grew.
Later on one day while passing through the area the aliens decided why not take a short detour over just to see what these pesky little humans were up to, they noticed an advanced civilization had created huge things that we have come to know as pyramids. This really caught their eye, especially since with the massive size of them and the fact that they had no idea how the civilization could make such things with the relatively primitive tools that they had, not to mention in the middle of an area as inhospitable as a desert. They came to the realization that the large cats failed their mission and that they needed a new approach.
At this point they decided the only way to find out how all of this happened was by placing spies. This is when they left us with a smaller more intelligent form of cat to watch, learn, and hopefully even do somethings to sabotage the humans technological growth. They gave them specific instructions, to act cute, go in to the areas that the humans lived and allow them to, think that they had domesticated them like they had domesticated dogs long ago. They equipped them with telepathy abilities so that they could both communicate the reports to the aliens, which try to be invisible to us however with some of us they fail and appear to be ghosts.
The "house cats" soon discovered that these telepathy abilities, could be used as a form of mind control to make the humans believe that they were cute and worth keeping, as opposed to just being pompous, egotistical, picky, things that that did nothing more than eat, sleep, completely ignore us, refuse to be trained, while really not helping us at all, not to mention use up sunbeams that we now know can be used for solar power.
As they got used to this royal treatment while spying on the people that pulled off the miracle of those pyramids. They reported that these humans had managed to do it by a use of math and science that was amazingly advanced despite everything the aliens has tried to do to stunt this relatively young species technological advancement, and told them that it was all done in the name of their religion which the aliens knew from their own experience to be a big step in the development of culture and civilization. That with the reports of large libraries of knowledge scared the aliens.
They knew this was bad, they realized that a good amount of these humans were learning to sense their presence even though they were invisible and were even calling them spirits which they had incorporated in to their religion. However they saw that the humans noticed that when a cat was around these "spirits" left very quickly, and generally didn't leave until a cat was brought in to the area. The aliens told the cat spies to use this to their advantage to make these humans believe that they were protecting them from the spirits.
This worked beautifully all skepticism that the humans ever had of the cats went right out the window, They believed them to be guardians sent to them by the gods (haha close but not close enough to the truth) the most advanced race of the time had now started making statues to worship these spies, even went as part as to make a unimaginably huge monument known as the sphinx in honor of these well disguised spies. Which they believed to now have the greatest guardian power of all cats. When the cats displayed their love for it, the Egyptians believed that it had just received their blessing.
These people truly loving the cats however having way to much of a "good" thing becomes a bad thing, started selling them to other people in other areas through barter and trade. This was great for them because they were making wealth off of these guardians, and worked even better for the aliens because now their spies were being spread across the planet, very easily infiltrating the planet as technology and the ability to travel advanced.
Jumping along to modern day, cats have now gotten in to every continent and I think every country. Chinese apparently are eating them while keeping others as "pets" but hey we all know every war has its casualties. Also we know that they see dogs (the humans long time, perfectly loyal, completely loving, never will go out of style companion) as their natural enemy. However they manage to get along when they see that they are both in the humans house to stay and neither is going any where.
To this day they continue to attempt to find out everything that we know, and stop us from learning more. When you are on the computer they try to stop you from using it while they are clearly reading what is said on the monitor themselves. When you read a book they read it as well. While you are watching tv if it sounds to them like you might be learning something they either watch it as well or try to distract you, either by climbing in your lap or laying on top of the television possibly with an attempt to cover part of the screen. The aliens maintain their cover of being ghosts, cats to a degree maintain their attempts to act like they are protecting us from them. How many times have you "accidentally" tripped or almost tripped over your cat? How many times was that in the dark where you know they can see perfectly well, or in an area like near the top of stairs? The mind control to make use keep them because of the cute factor has been fine tuned by them to perfection, though some people see through it and proclaim that they dont like cats.
The one time that an alien craft crashed and their invisible/ghost cover failed them. It was quickly cleaned up with all traces of proof covered up by the humans that they were easily able to use there mind control to make them bend to their will, and try to stop the knowledge from spreading. For a small few this attempt failed while the rest remain oblivious.
You are probably wondering how does Steve know this, and how did the aliens manage to get back home undetected. The aliens with a little power of persuasion got themselves on to the next rocket that was being launched to explore the moon. This time remembering to clear the humans all memories of it from the humans at NASA that saw them.
As for how I know this about the cats, one of those aliens mated with one of my ancestors, as others did with some of the best that this world has to offer to create a form of new species to eventually take over the earth. We appear human to all forms of current technology as a form of stealth. Of others like me, very few are able to hear what the cats are saying when making their reports however I am able to and I feel it is only fair that all of you know whats really going on. I will stop here and leave it open to all questions for two reasons.
If you believe this (or even think it may be possible), then you really need to rethink some of the other things that you believe in.
någon som tror på detta??
